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Archive for December, 2009

Pop Song Pop-Up 12/30: Keep It Goin’ Louder, Major Lazer

Posted by Mark On December - 30 - 2009 1 COMMENT

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This guy came out of nowhere and I didn’t even realize he was a legit artist until about 2 weeks ago.  The first thing I’ve ever seen with his name on it was the video for the song “Pon de Floor” which was directed by Eric Wareheim of Tim and Eric.  If you haven’t seen that video yet you can watch it here.  Be warned, it’s fucking ridiculous.  Then I heard this song and realized that this guy actually makes some fun club music.  So here it is, Keep It Goin’ Louder by Major Lazer featuring Nina Sky and Ricky Blaze.  Get down girl.


To See or Not to See: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Posted by Mark On December - 29 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

I was pretty pumped for this movie when it was about a month from it’s release, but now that it’s out I can’t decide if I should drop the dough to see it in theaters.  The critics are to blame for my indecision, this movie has some of the most mixed reviews I’ve ever seen.  My local newspaper gave it half a star.  That is abysmal.  Half a star, to me, is like a movie that takes the plot of a cheap porno but removes all the nudity and sex.  Half a star is pretty much the worst score you can possibly hand out, because anything less wouldn’t even be a score.

Now in contrast to that Rotten Tomatoes has it at 64%, which overall qualifies as “Fresh.”  I usually trust Rotten Tomatoes but 64% isn’t necessarily high and coupled with the disgusting half a star makes me weary.  I have seen movies that have scored much lower than 64% on RT and enjoyed them, but they were mostly comedies and comedies always get a bad rap.  And there is also the fact that it’s Heath Ledger’s last role before he died.  Heath is a great actor and I kind of want to see this just for him.  But if it is that bad then do I want to see him in such a poor role?

I’m making this into a bigger problem then it really is, I’ll probably think about seeing it for a week or two, won’t get around to it, and then something else will come out and I’ll see that instead.

More Mass Effect Please

Posted by Mark On December - 23 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

Anyone who knows me also knows that I am a pretty big Bioware fan.  There is good reason to be, most of their games are masterpieces and in my opinion Mass Effect is the best game available on the Xbox 360 so far.  Hopefully that will change with the release of the sequel, and judging by this new trailer I think we can expect a lot.  This trailer was released yesterday on the Xbox Live Marketplace, I’ve already watched it like six times.


I know it’s all CG, but personally I love CG trailers, they’re more epic than gameplay trailers.  It looks like Bioware is making many changes for the better with a new and improved inventory system, a bigger and more interactive Normandy, and whole new team of bad-ass Allies.  Thane and Grunt look like they’re going to make an awesome squad.

If I Were a Video Game Developer…

Posted by Mark On December - 19 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

Before I get into this let me just warn everyone that I’m entering “nerd overdrive mode,” fuckin’ deal with it.

With winter setting in and the snow beginning to pile up video games are quickly becoming my preferred past time.  This latest generation of gaming has brought us many innovative ways to communicate and interact with friends, but there is still something missing.  Why haven’t we seen any sort of integrated clan system?  The Xbox 360 and the PS3 both have this wonderful OS accessible from anywhere on the console.  I can be slaughtering hordes of zombies in Left 4 Dead and be talking to a friend who is watching the latest episode of Lost and another friend who is playing FIFA all while streaming music from my Windows PC.  With all this incredible functionality you think we’d at least see a glimmer of clan support.  So, with that said let me get to the meat of this thing; this is how I would do it if I were a game developer.

For my examples I’m going to refer to the Xbox 360 simply because that’s what I game on and what I am most familiar with.  The most recent dashboard update has added a “Community” section that contains things like Facebook, this would be a perfect place to set up our clan interface.  Lets start with the individual player.  Each player will have a list of clans that he/she is a member of, there could be some sort of limit on this like only 10 clans per player or some nonsense like that.  The reason for multiple clans is simple, there are a ton of people that have groups of friends that they only play with in certain games.  You could have a clan just for Call of Duty, a clan just for Battlefield, and yet another one just for Gears of War.  Now, if you’re like me, you probably have a core group of friends that travel from game to game and you don’t really care about other people you come across.  This will be a addressed by each individual clan.

Let’s say you want to make your own clan, you can go to the clan interface in the community tab and select “New Clan.”  You will then be prompted to enter a few fields of data; clan name, motto, description, and website url for starters.  Then you will be given a list of all the games on Xbox Live that support clan play and be told to add all the ones that apply to your clan.  So if you’re assembling a team of goons that will play nothing but Modern Warfare then you will select that, otherwise you can select multiple games that your clan will participate in.  Finally you will invite all of your friends into the clan.  When someone joins they will be prompted to choose from a list of games (the one you just determined) for all the games they own and are interested in playing competitively.  Once you’ve got at least 4 people that can participate in a specific game your clan will become eligible to compete in that game.  Now that you’ve got your clan underway you’re going to need to schedule some matches.

Remaining in our clan interface you will select one of your clans and go to “Compete.”  Then you will be asked to select one of the games that your clan is eligible for.  After that we could have a couple of options, you could look for challenges where the opposing team has already specified the time and rules, or you could specify the time and rules and wait for a challenger, or you could look at a list of all clans for that game and try to schedule a match with a specific clan (ooooh, rivals…).  Once a match is scheduled all eligible players in your clan will be sent a message detailing the game, time, and rules.  When the match begins all players will be sent invites to the game, you will join, and once all players are present the game will begin.  If one team fails to field the number of players required they will be forced to play man-down.  Once the match is complete the system will record wins and losses, along with some other fun stats, everyone will say “good game,” smack each others asses and depart.

Obviously this would take some work on both ends to implement but could it really be that hard?  Rainbow Six 3: Black Arrow did something similar to this years ago.  Halo 2 tried, but it wasn’t the same.  Now all we get are “Clan Tags” and a handful of websites that operate on an honor system.

P.S.:  Microsoft, if you see anything you like I can be reached by mail, phone, or electronically and I accept payments in cash or check form.  My warmest regards.

Girl We Like This Week 12/14: Rosie Jones

Posted by Monahan On December - 14 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

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God Bless the UK. Completely underrated country in my opinion. When you hear people talk about their European vacations they usually mention places like France and Italy. Well fuck those guys! French accents are pretty retarded and Italians are everywhere in NY. If I ever vacation in Europe, London is the first place I’m going. Hell, I’d even live there! Who’s with me? Oh, if you haven’t already guessed Rosie Jones is from Britain, and I kinda love British accents. You should also take the safe search off Google images and enter her name. This isn’t Brownyhound’s blog. Bonus video!


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So the plan is to move to London, open a pub, become soccer hooligans and worship Manchester United. Because if you ain’t a manc, your a wank! Long live the Queen.

Dante’s Inferno Hype Buster

Posted by Mark On December - 10 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

Initializing rant… please stand by…

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Alright, so what’s the deal with this Dante’s Inferno game?  A beat-em-up based on the first part of the Divine Comedy?  I’m all for random-ass adaptations but this one just seems ridiculous and I can’t seem to pinpoint the source of all the hype.  Is it that is has super-cool boss fights?  Or is it that it looks exactly like Ninja Gaiden/God of War/Devil May Cry?  I’m sorry, I just don’t think we need another one of these games when there’s already a handful of stellar titles in this genre.  Can this game really compete with the likes of God of War 3?  I can see people buying this and thinking they’re the smartest prick in town because they’re playing a game named after a famous classic poem.  Where are the original ideas guys?  Why can’t you write your own story?  Sure this isn’t cannon, its base is very loose, but fighting through the nine-circles of hell with weapons I’ve seen in every other action adventure game doesn’t seem too promising.  I hope I’m proven wrong and this game is something to talk about, but from what I’ve seen so far I’m going to call a “flop.”


P.S.  The “Go to Hell” tagline isn’t cool.  Okay?

Pop Song Pop-Up 12/9: Tik Tok, Ke$ha

Posted by Monahan On December - 9 - 2009 4 COMMENTS

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This song isn’t good. Lets make that clear right off the bat. Its a somewhat catchy hook thrown over a generic techno beat. It relies heavily on auto tune to disguise this girls lack of talent as a singer. However, it currently sits at #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. This is the kind of shit people eat up these days. Apparently she is the female voice from Flo Rida’s Right Round and she appeared in Katy Perry’s I Kissed a Girl video. Why Miss Perry feels it’s necessary to associate herself with this talentless harlot is beyond me.

Regardless, Ke$ha’s Tik Tok will be spun throughout clubs for at least the next few months and maybe I’ll get drunk enough to dance to it. That is until it rightfully falls off the face of the pop-earth and Ke$ha returns to her weekend job of turning tricks on a street corner. And don’t let her fool you, brushing your teeth with a bottle of jack is not reccommended if you wish to practice proper hygiene. Use Colgate, its a sure thing.

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Youth In Revolt: Red Band Trailer

Posted by Monahan On December - 9 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

“Well what is your plan shithead? I’m gonna help you stick your filthy dick in this tomato”

The more I see of this movie, the more promising it looks. This red band trailer puts it over the top and I would put money down that this becomes a huge hit. Go see it when its released on January 8th. Vulgar Michael Cera is an awesome Michael Cera. Just ask Superbad.

The Cat Empire Live in NYC

Posted by Mark On December - 7 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

Saturday night I had the privilege of seeing The Cat Empire live at the Nokia Theater in Times Square.  What a show it was, combined with the opening act, The Prigs, it may have been the all around best show I’ve ever seen.  It was just a straight up party.

The Prigs

Let me first talk about the Prigs.  I’m used to going to shows to see the headliner and more often than not the opening acts are disappointing and I try to wait patiently for them to get off the stage.  That was not the case with the Prigs.  These guys marched out on stage wearing their flashy suits and sunglasses and got the crowd moving right off the bat.  With their uplifting songs, gold glitter, searing Key-tar solos, and air-horn/firework sound effects after each song they we’re the perfect fit for a “Cat-Empire-opener.”  After their 45 minute set and their “Life Ain’t So Bad At All” banner I was in a great mood and really pumped for The Cat Empire.  “PRIGS!”

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I am not exaggerating when I say that The Cat Empire has put on one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.  I was in complete awe for the entire duration of their 2 hour set.  They are all brilliant musicians, they all know their instruments so well that they could jam on anything for hours.  Every song had me going “My god, that was the best thing I’ve ever heard!”  They played a solid set with the highlights being “The Darkness,” “In My Pocket,” “Hello,” and “The Chariot.”  They also played a new song of which I got a 1-minute clip of…


I apologize for the poor quality, it was taken with a point-and-shoot, but you can make out most of it and it sounds very similar to their last album.  The set ranged from songs like that, where the crowd was just kind of “vibing,” to songs like The Chariot that brought a lot of energy and had the whole crowd jumping in the air.  Between the 10 minute jams during bridges to drum-solos and scratching solos The Cat Empire is an incredible live experience.  Should you see them next time they’re around?  Absolutely.

Reader’s Choice 2009: Console Game

Posted by Mark On December - 1 - 2009 ADD COMMENTS

Seeing as there is nothing great coming out in the last few weeks of the year it is an appropriate time to vote for this years Reader’s Choice Game of the Year.  A lot big titles this year, most of them released recently, and a lot of games you wouldn’t expect to be in the running.

The Winner is:

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

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