Medic Media

Anyone that frequents YouTube knows that there is a lot of garbage to be found.  Enter YouTube Poop, a phenomenon that has users making nearly incomprehensible videos for the sole purpose of being annoying.  While most of them are exactly as I just described, a select few are actually very funny, if you have a taste for these kinds of things.  Here’s an introduction to the one of the shittiest corners of the internet.

READERS, PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK!

This next one I just saw for the first time tonight.

Which led to this.

And some Billy Mays for good measure.

Kind of makes me want to watch Tim and Eric…

In light of Modern Warfare 2 being released and being awesome it seemed appropriate to make this list.  These are my Top Ten favorite Xbox Live games since the birth of the service back in November ‘02.  Xbox Live was brilliant when it was first released, allowing console gamers to compete and chat online with friends.  It was also incredibly addicting, and I would play for 10 hours straight and not even realize.  Here are my ten favorite games to ever take advantage of the service.

10.) Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Tides of War

Was this the inspiration for the name of this blog?  OMG NO WAY!

It’s not so much that this game was particularly good and I’m probably working off of straight nostalgia here but Wolfenstein (pronounce “Wolfy”) held a ton of great experiences.  The game featured 3 game types if I remember right, one saw players trying to recover a set of documents and transmit them while the other team defended, one was an Elimination game type with no respawns and honestly I can’t recall the last one.  Probably because I never played it much.  The game had a lot of character.  It gave players a few choices of classes each with special abilites, the Medic, the Engineer, the Soldier, and the Lieutenant.  The maps we’re interesting with a take on D-Day called “Beach Invasion” that had a fun glitch that allowed players to blow themselves over the wall.  Any one who played this game knows that “Ice” is where it’s at though.  As far as the Xbox Live service goes this game has features that I think should be implemented now, I can’t understand why they aren’t.  The game allowed players to vote to change the map, boot an annoying player, change game-types, and change teams.  Voice masks and nicknames also faded away, what a shame.

9.) Crimson Skies: High Road to Revenge

This game was incredibly refreshing, breaking away from the barrage of first-person shooters that we’re drowning the Xbox.  The game only featured 5 or 6 maps (more were released for download later) but they all played extremely well.  “Chicago” was easily my favorite though, especially for capture the flag.  On a team of 4 you’d have two balanced crafts, like the “Devastator” patrol the center of the map and intercept fast-movers, a “Bulldog” (the fastest plane in the game armed with a machine gun and a big shotgun) make a run for the flag, and you’re defender would be either a “Brigand” or the “Doppelganger.”  Dogfights were intense, especially in some of the faster planes like the “Desert Fox” or “Dust Devil.”  There really isn’t much to this game, it didn’t do anything special, but everything it did do it did right.  Crimson Skies is definitely a hidden gem of the Xbox and thus one of my favorite Xbox Live games of all time.

8.) Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow

Here’s another game that breaks the mold of the typical Xbox Live shooter.  This game took a lot of risks, restricting teams to only two players.  The spies would try to complete a series of objectives, like stealing documents or accessing a computer, while the mercenaries would defend.  The spies were armed with a non-lethal shock-pistol and were allowed to bring three pieces of equipment with them such as smoke grenades, sticky cams, and a device that would let you listen in on their voice-chat if you shot someone with it.  I’ll never forget using that device and hearing “God damn it, he’s listening to me, I know it.  I know he’s just hiding listening to me.”  The Mercenaries are the complete opposite of the Spies, armed with high powered and very accurate assault rifles, grenade launchers, and trip-mines.  The games were intense.  Playing as the Mercenaries was scary, the spies we’re fast and could easily sneak up behind you and break your neck.  Playing as the spies was stressful, if you were seen, more often then not you were killed immediately.  Sure the game was unbalanced most of the time, and Chaos Theory fixed this, but something about Pandora Tomorrow just made it more fun then it’s successors and it provided many hours of playtime.

7.) Project Gotham Racing 2

First person to comment stating the name of this car wins a special prize.

Just like Splinter Cell, this game had successful sequels that improved on the formula, but PGR2 always stood out from the crowd.  Walking around the showroom to buy your car with Kudos earned from drifting around every turn on Nurburgring was so cool to me.  The actual racing was great, and it was accessible for almost anyone, but this game really became one of my all time favorites when someone showed me a player-created game type called “Cat and Mouse.”  In an 8-player race you would have 4 teams of 2, each team is comprised of one Mini Cooper (the mouse) and one Cat (which would typically be a car from the Ultimate Class like an Enzo Ferrari or TVR Speed 12).  The point of the game was to get your team’s Mouse across the finish line first by any means necessary.  As the Cat you could simply smash into the other Mini’s, create roadblocks, push your Mini through the straights (which would actually increase the top speed by 30 or 40 mph), and protect you Mouse from other Cats.  This game-type was so much fun and became so popular that it was included as an actual game-type in future iterations.  Still, none of them lived up to PGR2 in my eyes.

6.)  Halo 3

I rank this lower than it’s predecessor simply because by the time this game had released, the untouched formula had become very stale.  If you hadn’t really played Halo 2 though then Halo 3 was a fresh experience, and even more so than that, it’s one of the most polished games around.  Halo 3 presents itself well, everything in the game works, is balanced, and varied.  There’s also 4-player online co-op, which is actually one of the better parts of the game.  There are a ton of game-types and variables, a lot of cool weapons and vehicles, and a nice selection of maps.  One of my gripes with the game though lies with the maps, they’re not as good as Halo 2, and I can’t help but feel like I’m being milked with DLC released every couple months for a premium price.  The game’s hype is it’s own worst enemy here, and if you take it for what it is, it’s still one hell of a game.

5.)  Gears of War

Gears of War was the Xbox 360’s first big smash and it made a great first impression.  The co-op campaign is still arguably one of the best gaming experiences available on the console.  The multi-player was originally shunned for it’s low 8-player maximum, but the formula worked well.  The game only had a few game types and about 8 maps, but they we’re all well laid-out and balanced.  It was gritty and raw, and that was the main appeal.  Everything felt awesome, it made the player feel bad-ass no matter what was happening, and the small teams really called for a lot of communication and team work.  The reason I put Gears 1 on here instead of the sequel is because of a lot of the changes that we’re made.  The second one does not play as smoothly, there are a lot of “cheap” tactics, and even though the Horde mode is awesome, it doesn’t stand up to Left 4 Dead.

4.)  Left 4 Dead

You can include the sequel here too since it’s basically just an expansion pack, but Left 4 Dead made a big splash when it debuted last November.  Valve is a company that always delivers and Left 4 Dead is one of the most intense and visceral co-op experiences you can have.  Teamwork is absolutely necessary, which makes it almost impossible if you do not play with friends.  Hearing the music play when a witch is nearby is haunting, and it’ll take everyone on the team to make sure she’s destroyed without having a chance to kill anyone.  On top of the co-op is the Versus mode, which pits 4 survivors against 4 special infected as well as A.I. controlled hordes of zombies.  Again, teamwork is absolutely necessary, as the special infected are pretty much useless solo, but you can make some very effective traps if you communicate with your team.  This is a formula that is going to be around for years, hopefully it stays fresh.

3.)  Halo 2

I played Halo 2 pretty much every night for the better part of a year, and continued to play every now and again for an additional year or so.  This is easily one of the longest lasting console games of all time.  I remember seeing at least 15 people on my friends list everyday when this game was released, there was so much to do and all of it was fun.  The match making system was revolutionary and the amount of customization for player-created game-types was outstanding and even still there were game-types that were made up beyond what the game allowed.  “Zombies” is another example of a player-created game type that became so popular it was hard-coded into the sequel.  There were some dark times too, where cheating and hacking became a huge issue, but with the great support from Microsoft and Bungie all of the major problems were fixed fairly quickly.  Honestly I don’t even want to know how many hours I’ve clocked on this game, it’s probably disgusting, but few games deserve the attention more than Halo 2.

2.)  Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

Yeah, that’s right.  My second favorite Xbox Live game of all time was released only 2 weeks ago.  This spot would have gone to the first Modern Warfare but the second one is better in every aspect, at least when talking about multi-player.  This game strikes a wonderful balance between realism and fantasy that makes it fun without being over-the-top.  The match making system is the best out there and it’s a mystery why every game doesn’t use it, it’s flawless.  The game sports a great selection of game-types, although there are no customization options.  The leveling system is what keeps the game fresh.  When you first start playing and you have a good match, unlock a challenge or two, there are explosions going off every where along with some searing guitar solo’s and you can’t help but get a chubby.  Teamwork is big in this game, although one man can turn the tides, the team that works together usually wins.  The guys at Infinity Ward have done a great job creating and refining this formula and hopefully it’ll last a while.

1.)  Rainbow Six 3

Surprised?  You shouldn’t be.  Rainbow Six has been a staple in the tactical FPS genre forever and the third installment was really something special.  Featuring something like 30 or 40 guns was unprecedented at the time (and is still somewhat impressive), and each one was useful in its own right.  The teamwork and strategy involved in this game was masterful, seeing as it was so easy to die.  This was one of the last great games to include a health bar, ever since Halo 2 regenerating health has become the new standard.  However, I think my single favorite part about this game is the map selection.  Every map had a certain character to it, and every player had their own favorite and plan of attack between the “Suicide Hallway” on Airport 1 to the “Wiener Corner” on Warehouse.  On top of that, new maps were released every so often and, get this, they were completely free.  FREE!  The stand-alone expansion, Black Arrow, was just as good and added a built in clan system (and no, not lame ass clan tags but scheduled clan matches) and some great new game-types like Total Conquest (see Call of Duty’s Domination mode).  This game was terrific and made me really proud to be a member of Xbox Live.  On top of the exquisite competitive multi-player there were also two co-op modes that could be played with 4 players and we’re insanely intense on hard.  Between Rainbow Six 3 and Black Arrow this game effectively lasted me almost 2 years, too bad the follow up, Rainbow Six: Lockdown, was the biggest piece of shit ever to grace my Xbox.

Alright, almost everyone should be aware that Modern Warfare released last week, and what a release it was.  Nearly every game store in my area had lines out the door, midnight launches with over 200 customers lined up, and another couple hundred reservations.  Needless to say I got my copy and have been playing the game religiously since last Tuesday (hence the lack of updates).  The game is absolutely awesome.  Period.

It’s great, there, done.  That’s the short story.  Really though this game is exactly what a sequel is supposed to be, bigger, better, and more engrossing.  The campaign is a direct sequel to the first Modern Warfare picking up only a few years where that one left off.  I’m not going to get into details in fear of spoiling anything for anyone but you will play as a U.S. Army Ranger and a member of the British Task Force 141.  Every mission is fun to play, engaging, and interesting.  You’ll find your self gunning from and even driving a handful of vehicles this time around and for once it doesn’t feel tacked on (I’m looking at you, Gears of War).  The campaign is on the short side, I beat it on Hardened in less than 6 hours, but it’s 6 hours of non-stop action.  There also isn’t much replay value in the single player aside from higher difficulties, but then again the single player is only a small portion of the whole game.

One of the best new additions is the Special Ops mode, a two-player co-op that takes you through a series of increasingly more challenging missions that have barely anything to do with the overall story arc of the game.  They start out somewhat easy and very short and progressively get harder and more in depth, which makes them a great way to get better at the game.  They also make for good “jump-in” gaming when you only have 15 or 20 minutes to play, you can do a couple Special-Ops missions with your best bud and then be on your way.  Be prepared to get frustrated though as you get towards the top tier of missions, they will really test your skill and patience.

Now, the pièce de résistance, the multiplayer.  The multiplayer is, without a doubt, the most robust, featured, and well-rounded experience available on any platform this generation.  You have a wide array of game modes ranging from the ever popular Team-Deathmatch and Capture the Flag, to massive battles of 18 players in Ground War, limited respawn game types, and even 3rd person versions of a couple game types.  A quick aside about the 3rd person here, it is surprisingly well done and gives the feeling of a Ghost Recon or SOCOM style, so veterans of those games will likely feel at home.

The customization this time around is also more ambitious, each gun has nice variety of attatchments, each perk can be upgraded to offer additional benefits, and you can also customize your kill streak rewards.  All these additions nearly ensure that no two players will be using the same equipment, which allows for some really good team work.  You can have a player on your team with a silenced sniper rifle, who will get a UAV after 3 kills, a played using radar-jammers and a heartbeat sensor raking up the kills to call in a Stealth Bomber, and a commando player on the frontlines consistently calling in Predator Missiles.

Kill streaks have become the showcase of the game, the higher level ones being game changing such as the Chopper Gunner and AC130 which have the ability to keep enemies pinned indoors while continuously adding kills to the scoreboard.  Couple these will a few Harrier Air Strikes and a Pavelow and it makes the game complete chaos for the opposing team.  The game strikes a wonderful balance though, because it offers players the option to bring a selection of anti-aircraft missile launchers into battle to deal with these destructive flying death-machines.

If you liked the first Modern Warfare your gauranteed to enjoy this one, and if you found the first one too annoying or difficult, Modern Warfare 2 is much more accessible.  With added death streak rewards, perks like Hardline that allow you to get kill streak rewards earlier, and Riot Shields, the game can become a fun experience for even the worst FPS players.  This game is a must buy, it has only exceeded my expectations and it will be spinning in the disc tray of my Xbox for months to come.  One more time for dramatic effect:

Assassins Creed 2 will be realeased tomorrow, Tuesday, November 17th. I’m sure a lot of other people will be masturbating to Modern Warfare 2 while I’ll be devoting my time to this game. The first one was fresh and dope and the sequel looks like double the freshness and dopeness. The graphics look like some of the best we’ve ever seen and the gameplay looks brutally awesome. I’ll the videos speak for themselves.

YouTube - Link

YouTube - Link

YouTube - Link

So while you’re being sniped by some asshole 14 year old sitting on top of a building, i’ll be stealing a guys axe and putting it through his neck in the middle of the Venice streets.

This one is for you, Alvee.  Elisabetta is an Italian actress and also does modeling (shouldn’t be a surprise).  You may have seen her in Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo if you actually watched that movie.  Much more important than that though is that she is currently dating George Clooney, who is a lot cooler than Rob Schneider.  Onward to the pics…

It’s hard to imagine any band that stirs up a more heated argument than Weezer. Look at almost any comments section under a video or review and you will see something that resembles this:

“Dude, Weezer is so lame. This new stuff is so corny and fake. They stopped being relevant after the ‘Blue Album’ and ‘Pinkerton’. Rivers Cuomo doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore.”

There are many so called fans out there that will only listen to Weezer’s first 2 albums and think all subsequent releases are just crap. “The Green Album”, “Maladroit”, “Make Believe”, and “The Red Album” have met harsh criticisms at the hands of these haters. Will Weezer’s 7th studio album, “Raditude”, silence the critics?

There is no arguing “The Blue Album” and “Pinkerton” are amazing albums and a main reason why Weezer is still going strong today. However, like almost any other band, they’ve evolved and grown as a group. Time changes things people! Whether it be for better or for worse, one can not deny that Weezer is still as popular as ever.

“Raditude” easily tops last years “Red Album” and might be Weezer’s strongest and most diverse showing since “Pinkerton”. The “Red Album” was dragged down by tracks that featured the other band mates on lead vocals. Luckily for listeners, “Raditude” is almost all Rivers.

The album starts off with a bang with the first single off the album titled, “(If You’re Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To”. It features a radio-friendly hook and sets the tone for an album full of catchy songs; “I’m Your Daddy”, “The Girl Got Hot”, “Let It All Hang Out” and “Trippin Down the Freeway” being among them.

However, this is not strictly an album of just catchy pop-rock songs. You can tell that the group sat down and thought to themselves, “Lets get a little crazy with this one.” This is especially evident on the track “Can’t Stop Partying”. It was first featured on Cuomo’s solo album “Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo” but was remade for this new release. The song was written by Cuomo and producer/rapper Jermaine Dupri, and also features some guest vocals from Lil Wayne. The lyrics are over the top and something you’re more likely to find on, well, a Lil Wayne song. Such as:

‘Just follow the smoke; they’re bringing bottles of the goose
And all the girls in the corner getting loose
Screw rehab I love my addiction
No sleep, no sleep, I am always on a mission..’

Collaborations are common throughout the album. The somber “Put Me Back Together” was co-written with members of The All-American Rejects. Track “Love Is The Answer” features Hindi vocalist Amrita Sen using Hindi instrumentation. Make no mistake about it, “Raditude” sounds like a Weezer album, but it has a lot of fresh material to keep fans hooked even longer. The Deluxe Edition features four bonus tracks including the heavy “Get Me Some” and the uplifting “The Underdogs”. All four songs are strong efforts and top many songs from previous albums.

Again, as with any recent Weezer release, there are critics aplenty. “These days, Weezer are less of a band, and more of a punch line or a punching bag,” says Michael Patrick Nelson of the Long Island Press. “And lord, they deserve it. The disgusting ingredients cooked into (shudder) Raditude add up to a malevolent stew of stinking trash—Promotional Snuggie? Kenny G? That album cover?” Nelson is obviously not a huge fan, but he also shows why so many people still love (or hate) Weezer. They make fun music and have a great time while doing it. Their videos are hilarious and their shows often involve trampolines and the occasional giant spider costume. They are who they are and from the songs and even the album art inside, “Raditude” reflects that perfectly.

Courtesy Stony Brook Independent

Broken Lizard is back! Do you remember these guys? Well these are the underrated fools who brought us Super Troopers and Beerfest, 2 extremely fine pieces of American cinema. Whats great about them is they write every movie they make and cast themselves in the main roles. Steve Martin and Martin Lawrence need not apply.

The movies are always ridiculous in nature and this appears to be no exception. Michael Clarke Duncan owns a seafood restaurant! Apparently Hollywood forgot about these guys and they made the film independently before getting a distributor recently. This probably means a somewhat limited release. I’m not waiting for the DVD. I’ll be in whatever theater carries it when it’s realeased exactly one month from today on December 11th.

The film also features the Canadian beauty, Cobie Smulders, of How I Met Your Mother fame. (Neil Patrick Harris is the man) It’s a pretty darn funny sitcom on CBS if you ever get the chance to watch it. Or you can just google Cobie Smulders and save yourself the time.

But wait, there’s more! If you missed it the first time around go to the trailer at the 1:27 mark. It’s Olivia Munn ya turkey! As if you needed anymore of a reason to see this movie. What kind of post would this be if she’s mentioned and no picture is provided? Answer: Not a very good one. Boom.

YouTube - Link

Visioneer

I recently just watched a movie called “Visioneers” starring Zach Galfinakas, Judy Greer, and Mia Maestro. Rarely do I identify with a movie so deeply. I was curious if this would be like all of Zach’s other movies… ridiculous and hilarious. This movie was both of those things but in a completly different fashion. One which I did not expect from the “Hangover” star. Like Will Ferrel’s “Stranger Than Fiction” this gives us a different approach of the actor. Although Zach does seem to get a little bit of himself in their(The wife-fight, make-out scene). It’s fresh and if your willing, a completely enjoyable experience. The message is well worth it.

Judy Greer with sex toys.

Zach plays George Washington, a typical office worker whose job is a Visioneer for the most profitable company ever to exist, Jeffers Corp. Zach’s world has some problems. People are com-busting (exploding) by the 1,000s but it’s not all bad when you live in the “perfect” world. He has a house, a kid, a wife (Judy Greer), a boat, etc. It’s seemingly a suburban paradise as long as your a cog for Jeffers Corp. Zach’s character seems to be suffering symptoms of exploding. His worry and fear lead you to wonder if he really will.

Zach with his Brother

The movie is really good commentary of our own culture. Working boring jobs, using things such as the media to distract us from our own unhappiness. The way they greet each other is by giving the middle finger salute which is hilarious at first. It’s more than just a gag its the director and writer’s way of saying “Fuck You”. Fuck You to big business, fuck you to dry boring lives, fuck you to “plastic” cookie cutter wives, etc. It gets its message across most importantly at the climax (will he do it, wont he do it) and at the end your left with something to dwell on. If you’re really in a rut you should see this movie. At the very least you’ll hopefully pick something out of it.

Now and again I question the morality of rating who’s the most attractive. The media and these magazines are already ruining every young child’s self image as it is. Do we really need to give them a name specific list of the person(s) they should be? Probably not.

Everyone and anyone is a critic. Human beings that don’t judge, don’t exist. Everything we do and have is given an opinion by someone. We are a Social Darwinism dominated culture. Their must always be a best and a worst. There is no true way to find the hottest girl/guy in the world. People change, style’s change, etc. You say John Lennon. I say Paul McCartney. I say Maladroit and you say “Mike we’ve talked about this… Blue Album or Pinkerton or get the hell out,” and I recede to my corner to dream of people who’ll understand me.

Back to what I was saying.

Some people are just only looking at certain parts too. Theirs eyes, legs, boobs, butts, hair, etc. Me, I’m a combination. But it all must lead to the fact that I’m really just looking for classiness. These two have definitely got it. As for the listing attractiveness? Lists are fun. Besides they’ll never know… Unless Alvin & The Pushbacks gets big… HA!

Zooey Deschanel

Zooey… Ohh Zooey. I dont know where to begin with this girl. Just absolutely breathes in and out class. If its not those diamond eyes that will get you, than that voice of hers will. Zooey and M. Ward’s She and Him are a fantastic group that channels oldies style pop. Zooey’s that down to earth, next door girl you could bring home to mom. But there’s something in the stare that makes you certain theres more underneath. Naturally a blonde but I’ve been digging the brunette.

Jenny Lewis, the ginger-haired front woman of indie fame, Rilo Kiley. (One of my favorite bands.) This lady stole my heart about 1 year ago. Fiesty and firey, but she flows like a river current. Jenny’s voice and lyrics are another thing of beauty. Her lyrics talk of vulnerability, heart break, and fighting your way out of the ruckus. Most recently she’s turned into a little bit of a country singer on her debut album called “Acid Tongue.” But still at heart is a straight up rocker and if you look at her earlier stuff you would see the sweetheart underneath all of that.

J. Lewis

The girl’s got acting chops too. “The Wizard”. Thats right, that little girl is Jenny Lewis. I know you all remember this movie which had them competing at the Nintendo World Championships. The movie was great when we were kids. Child fame is old news for Rilo Kiley. The guitarist, Blake Sennett, starred in “Salute Your Shorts” and “Boy Meets World”.

Alright, after 2 weeks of inactivity I’ve managed to allot myself enough time to get back to what really matters.  Ok, so, first things first, there is a new trailer for the live action Prince of Persia movie.

Honestly, this might be good.  I chose my words carefully there, because even as a huge game nerd and a moderate movie buff, I’m not so naive when it comes to mixing the two together.  Try and think back, what’s the best movie adaptation of a video game you’ve ever seen?  Tough question, right?  They pretty much all suck, but I can confidently say that no matter how bad it may turn out to be it’ll still be better than Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.

Boom, next thought:

Modern Warfare 2.  If you don’t know what it is yet you managed to find this site then you should probably just castrate yourself.  With the amount of hype the game already has Infinity Ward figured it’d be a good idea to drop a very cinematic “launch trailer” onto the public 3 days before release.

If you can get past the Eminem it’s actually a pretty cool trailer and there are some good reveals in there.  It looks like driving and gunning from vehicles is going to be a big part of the single player.  Aside from the snow-mobile revealed at E3 I saw two different scenes where we’ll be gunning from a helicopter (will the chain gun make an appearance in multiplayer?) and a scene in a dingy-type watercraft.  I also saw a scene that appears to be in space.  What?  Yeah, this game has got it all.

Alright that’s two down, can I go for three?

Hell yes.  In the same fashion as my post about that Toys ‘R’ Us game sale a few weeks back I’d like to inform everyone of Amazons Gold Box Deals.  A new deal every four hours with quantities selling out in approximately 2 minutes.  Absolute insanity with the “Lightning Deals” exceeding 50% off.  Amazon always has awesome Black-Friday deals and there is sure to be a handful of techno-geek gear up for grabs so I advise checking often, I know I will be.  Here’s da link –> http://www.amazon.com/gp/goldbox

Alright, that about wraps this one up.  Expect to see our “Girl We Like This Week” returning in the next day or so and also stick around for some “Reader’s Choice Awards” as the year comes to a close.